In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale arrives from 2007 with the grim determination of a film that has no interest in the cultural conversation. Uwe Boll, working with his largest budget to date, took a video game franchise about clicking on monsters and fashioned a medieval revenge saga in which Jason Statham plays a man named Farmer. Farmer wants his wife back and his son avenged. That is the entire moral universe of the picture, delivered without apology, subtext, or a single knowing glance toward the audience.

We search the kingdom of Ehb in vain for signs of contemporary social consciousness. The cast is a wall of pale faces, with Brian J. White appearing as Commander Tarish and carrying no burden of commentary. He is simply a soldier among soldiers. The women, Muriella, Elora, and Solana, are granted moments of competence, though the plot remains a rescue of a kidnapped wife, and the film never frames that arrangement as a problem requiring correction. No queer characters appear. No environmental lament sounds. No economic system is interrogated. The Krug are animal-warriors under a wizard's spell, not a metaphor for anyone. The film is too busy being mediocre to lecture.

Gallian, played by Ray Liotta with visible confusion, wants power because power is pleasant. Duke Fallow wants a throne because thrones are pleasant. Nobody delivers a speech about inclusion or the sins of history. The film moves from one swordfight to the next and says nothing of consequence. Four percent on Rotten Tomatoes, a Golden Raspberry for its director, a footnote in the long ledger of video game adaptations that should not have been made. By the standards of our current taxonomy, it is a wasteland. A remarkably clean one.